I Am Now 34....

[Christopher Browne]

On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 7:29 PM, Renata Rocha <natzilla-Re5JQEeQqe8AvxtiuMwx3w at public.gmane.org> wrote:
> On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 17:44, Matt Seburn <mattseburn-Re5JQEeQqe8AvxtiuMwx3w at public.gmane.org> wrote:
>> To each their own.  Just saying - if you expect to be with another for
>> the rest of your life, you need to also expect change and compromise.
>
> I think the point here is expecting to be with someone for the rest of
> your life - this is an unrealistic expectation.
>
> One should expect to be with someone while happiness and love last.

That perspective doesn't fit very well with "family we get stuck
with," notably children.  There's a rather literal "life cycle" with
the "little people" which people are decidedly stuck with.  Babies
need feeding irrespective of whether or not the parents are getting
along.

There are familial arrangements, pointedly the traditional "arranged
marriage," where things start out with negotiations between extended
families.

This has been the norm for a *whole* lot longer than the modern
"independent courtships" which are probably mostly an artifact
assortedly of such social convulsions as:
- The growth of frontier areas in the United States, and
- The side-effects of massive destruction of European cities in the
"total wars" of the 20th century,
both of involved (often truly catastrophic!) scatterings of portions
of families all across the continents.

That's a pretty scattered way to indicate that there's rather more
complexity to things than meets the eye.  Any or many of those may be
demographically unimportant.

The same is true of many of the pro- and con- comments that have
already appeared.  There are great relationships and disastrous ones.

Deciding not to bother trying because there was a particularly bad
episode of Jerry Springer or such would be a terrible shame.  (Note
that the increasing luridness of the news demonstrates nicely that
"bad news entertains."  This has the natural consequence that the
staggeringly bad situations will get publicity well out any
demographically deserved proportion.  The bad situations described by
the likes of Jerry Springer, Oprah, and Doctor Phil are WORTH MONEY to
advertisers.)
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