I Am Now 34....

[Matt Seburn]

On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 7:29 PM, Renata Rocha <natzilla-Re5JQEeQqe8AvxtiuMwx3w at public.gmane.org> wrote:
> On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 17:44, Matt Seburn <mattseburn-Re5JQEeQqe8AvxtiuMwx3w at public.gmane.org> wrote:
>> To each their own.  Just saying - if you expect to be with another for
>> the rest of your life, you need to also expect change and compromise.
>
> I think the point here is expecting to be with someone for the rest of
> your life - this is an unrealistic expectation.

The original point was my response to the idea that change (weight
gain, less sex) and compromise in a relationship are a problem.  My
point applies to all relationships, lifelong or not.  It even applies
to friendships.  You cannot have a long-term relationship of any kind
with another person without also expecting to compromise and adapt to
change.

And, I disagree that expecting to be with someone for the rest of your
life is unrealistic - there are plenty of relationships that really do
last "till death do us part".  My grandparents, for example, were
(very happily) married from 1951 until my grandfather's death in
March.

> One should expect to be with someone while happiness and love last.

I used to think this way.  I am a lot happier now.

Happiness and love ebb and flow like the tide.  If you believe that
"low tide" means it is time to move on, you are setting yourself up to
miss out on a lot of what a relationship has to offer.  There is
something special about having so much history with someone that you
remember when you were in a different place in life, or were different
people.  There is also something to be said for the familiarity and
comfort of being with someone you know so well.

Of course, all that depends on finding the right person - a match
worthy of a lifelong commitment.  The trick is figuring out when to
invest, and when to move on.  Sometimes the tide will come back,
sometimes it is out for good.

> --
> Renata Rocha
> http://renata.org
> http://www.linkedin.com/in/renatarocha
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