Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

[Paul King]

> http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130
> -- 

They have the best satirists. You have to read all the way to near the end to 
get this gem:

    "Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero,
    Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to ownership of all mathematics and
    logic systems, including Euclidean geometry, pulleys and levers, gravity,
    and the basic Newtonian principles of motion, as well as the concepts of
    existence and nonexistence," Yale University theoretical mathematics
    professor J. Edmund Lattimore said. "In other words, pretty much
    everything." 

    Lattimore said that the only mathematical constructs of which Microsoft
    may not be able to claim ownership are infinity and transcendental numbers
    like pi. Microsoft lawyers are expected to file liens on infinity and pi 
    this week.

Paul

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