FW: Microsoft's new TV dinner product

[Peter Hiscocks]

Subject: Microsoft's new TV dinner product


INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT:

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to 
accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give 
anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an 
infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others 
smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how 
good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set 
the oven using these keystrokes:

mstv.dinn.//08.5min at 50%heat Then enter: 
ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and press 
start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the 
ingredients of the dinner found on the package label, the weight of 
the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The 
oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to 
your specification.

Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your 
oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner 
from the oven and enter:

ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap

This process may have to be repeated.

Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this 
doesn't work, contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously 
on the blink.

Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger 
than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of 
which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too 
large to fit in your oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the 
chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, 
call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want 
another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need. Microsoft 
has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their 
chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family 
size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved 
only in Microsoft approved packaging. Microsoft promises a dessert 
with every dinner after '05. However, that version has yet to be 
released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.

Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the 
freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not 
a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
-- 
_________________________
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----- End forwarded message -----

-- 
Peter D. Hiscocks                         	   
Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering    
Ryerson University,                    
350 Victoria Street,
Toronto, Ontario, M5B 2K3, Canada

Phone:   (416) 979-5000 Ext 6109
Fax:     (416) 979-5280
Email:   phiscock-g851W1bGYuGnS0EtXVNi6w at public.gmane.org
URL:     http://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~phiscock
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