More Power Captain!

teddymills teddymills-VFlxZYho3OA at public.gmane.org
Mon Apr 11 13:21:25 UTC 2005


Can I get 3 other people to spot $25 each?
I got $25.

Power is essential.


"Ideas...They have the power." ~ Napoleon Hill 
<http://www.zaadz.com/quotes/authors/napoleon_hill/>



  Star Trek meets Unix


"Scotty, I want full power to the megabit RAM chips and to the hard 
drives.!"

"Captain, yer overloadin' her as it is. The power supply just isn't 
built to take two harrrd drrrives:"

"Power, Scotty ! I want more power ! Chekov, install the disk cache. 
Spock, any word on the millions of instructions per second ?"

"Fascinating, Captain. It seems as if the turbo accelerator board is 
overrunning the hard drive, which, due to its poor response time, is 
slowing down the system performance."

"Scotty, where is that power ?"

"Captain, I'm givin ye all she's got. It's that miserable 80986 with the 
512 bit bus multiplexed down to one pin. The wee beastie has these teeny 
weeny little segments that can only handle so much. You'll have to 
install an extended memory board, do bank switching, and allocate a huge 
RAM disk if you want to go any faster."

"Chekov, install the EMS board."

"Yes, sir."

"Uhura, any word from the mainframe command ?"

"Well, Captain, we're received several interupts from the serial port, 
but because we're not multitasking, the data is just sitting there."

"Scotty, how much longer until we can shift Into Unix ?"

"Captain, if ye can squeeze another 80 megabytes onto hard disk, we 
might have room for Unix and a couple of system utilities. Possibly an 
application. We'll need to increase the clock speed to 28 gigahertz. I 
think we can do it, but there are too many unknown proper chakedowns.!"

"Spock ?"

"Unix is massive system, Captain, and the commands have to he decoded 
from hieroglyphics invented back in ancient times. It may be more than 
we can handle."

"Sulu, put in the 80 meg hard drive, install unix for mouse drive. 
Prepare to go to Task speed on my signal."

"Mouse drive ? .... Aye, Captain."

"Now, you just have a little spreadsheet work, mailing labels and some 
word prosessing. Won't you think you're overdoing it a bit ?"

"Sulu ?"

"Captain, she's shifting into multitasking one. Task two. Captain, I'm 
losing control at the helm. It looks like we've encountered a bad sector."

"Put it on visual, Sulu."

"Captain, the VGA is not responding. Shifting resolution to EGA mode."

"Spock ? What is the problem. ?"

"Unknown, Captain. Unix seems to rerouting all input to a null device. 
Trying 'grep,' whatever that is."

"Scotty, what's happening with those /dev subdirectories ?"

"Captain, she canna take much morrre... Another fifeen seconds and the 
math chips'll burrrn for surrre..."

"Scotty, we're not using the math chip

"Sorry, Captain, but I haven't been able to say that for twenty minutes."

"Uhura, notify mainframe command."

"Captain, either communications is breakig up, or you're dropping into 
Shakespearean stutter mode again:"

"Captain, she canna take much morrre... Another fifteen seconds and thee 
math chips'll burrrn for surrre..."

"Enogh, Scotty !"

"Captain ! I'm getting a message from main frame command.Apparently, 
sir, they're going to time-warp previously forgotten modes of data 
handling it looks like SQL syntax is forming in the language port now."

"Scotty, quick, pop-up the menu shields. This could be a trick to get us 
back to card punching."

"I'm sorry, Captain, but Dbase CLXIX doesn't have pop-ups that work yet."

"Chekov, we need hardcopy ! Fire HP laserJet !"

"Aye, sir."

"Bones, how do I see which tasks are active ? "

"Dammit, Jim ! I'm a doctor, not a command shell !!"

"Scotty ! Why can't I get a directory on the thing !!?"

"Captain, ye just canna have mouse driven pull down menu system with 
Unix. It's like matter and antimatter, the system's too boggen down. Yer 
draining me quartz crystals."

"Chekov, report."

"Captain, the little arrow is responding, but I gets to the side of the 
screen before the windows have a change to move..."

"Spock ? What's happening to our multitasking ?"

"It appears as if the needs of one are outweighting the needs of the many."

"Captain, she's not even runnin on reserve now. We'll have do a cold 
boot for surrre."

"Reboot Scotty !"

"I can't, Captain...we have lost CMOS"

"Install floppy backup"

"We can't captain... Intense magnetic radiation from overloading the 
power supply has wiped the backup floppies"

"Doctor ?"

"It's dead, Jim."








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