["Craig Flannagan" <craigfla at microsoft.com>] Microsoft Canada would like to visit your user group

[Robert McDonald]

Some NOTES: for the micro$haft rep.. I won't be able to attend. I offer my
proxy to whoever wants it.

There are 1 0 types of people in this world, those who understand binary,
and those who don't!

Customer: I'm running Windows '98
Tech: Yes.
Customer: My computer isn't working now.
Tech: Yes, you said that.

Claiming that your operating system is the best in the world because more
people use it is like saying McDonalds makes the best food in the world.

A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

Windows Beta : Latin for "still doesn't work".

DOS never says "Excellent filename or command".

Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.

Error reading drive C. Abort, Retry, Ignore, Get Linux?

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...

Failure is not acceptable. It comes bundled with Windows.

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Linux means productivity and fun. NT means 'Not Today'.

M.A.C.I.N.T.O.S.H. - Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System
Hangs.

Microsoft manager to programmer: You start coding. I'll go find out what
they want.

Microsoft mentality: If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

Name one nice thing about Windows? It doesn't just crash, it displays a
dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.

Windows Errors:
Broken window. Watch out for glass fragments.
Door locked. Try control-alt-delete.
Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every file.
Erroneous error. Nothing wrong.
Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.
Horrible bug encountered. God knows what happened.
Illegal error. Do not get this error.
Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
Multitasking attempted. System confused.
Nonexistent error - This cannot really be happening.
Operating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.
Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.
This error is reserved for future mistakes.
Too many windows open, causing draft.
Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
WIN.COM halted; Bill Gates was wrong - 640K is not enough


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